Wild Things

So, my home town team signed the top two free agents available. Good for them.
I haven't been a hockey fan for very long, and even though I love the twin cities, I haven't been able to get excited about the Wild. Everything I've learned has lead me to believe that they're incredibly boring. Or at least they were until the middle of this week, when they signed Zach Parise and Ryan Suter forever for a huge amount of money. I hope that the Wild are able to turn this into being good at hockey, and more importantly, not being boring. One commentator I saw this week called the Wild the least sexy team in the league, a pronouncement which I sadly couldn't argue against.
Right now I still don't care very much, but I can see the possibility of getting invested, which is new and good. The Wild is the team that my family roots for because they are good Minnesotans who care about hockey because it is hockey, and aren't the kind of folk who would wind up falling for a division rival for reasons like "adorable babies" or "photoshop abs." Being able to share their enthusiasm for the Wild could be a lot of fun.
Maybe.
Signing Parise and Suter looks like a great move but I'm going to wait and see what happens before I get invested.

I think Zach Parise looks like a vampire but cannot explain why...

just because

I am eventually going to say something about the Wild's big deals, but my thinking hasn't entirely solidified yet.

Right now I'm thinking about cowboys. So should you.

Happy 4th!

So, you know what makes me feel patriotic?

Zach Parise, please do anything

I WROTE A POEM TODAY!!!
(Sometimes I write poetry about hockey. It's a thing. Whatever)

JULY 3 2012 (day 3 of free agency)

Will someone give me 100 plus million dollars
so I can buy Zach Parise?

I don't know what I would do with him yet
but it wouldn't hurt.
It may involve glitter eyeliner
or cosplay
anything to make you laugh.

Right now he belongs to no one.
It's a twitter topic trend.
There's a consenus that his unattached state is not good
but very very wrong.

So please,
would someone give me more than 100 million dollars
so I can buy Zach Parise?

I promise I would take very good care of him.



Isn't that a lovely poem? I called my fiance on the phone and read it to her. She was impressed. Also, I should loudly read poetry while walking downtown all the time because it's fun.
I do get why he's taking forever because he's deciding what he's going to be doing for the next decade of his life. I even sympathize because I myself am terribly indecisive, but it's just really boring, and that's sad. Things shouldn't be boring when they could be excited.
I'm not super invested in where he signs, but I do care. As a MPLSgrrl I understand why he would want to sign with the Wild because MN is just the best. Also, if he signed here then the Wild wouldn't be boring. That would be good.
If he signed with the Penguins they would stop looking good and start looking downright dangerous, which I could get behind. However, (and I admit to not knowing lots of stuff), it might be that they'd do better signing Suter because they already have folks who are good at scoring goals. Or they could get both, but that's probably not gonna happen.
If he signs anywhere else I probably wouldn't notice a whole lot because reasons.

Anyway, I hope he does something. There's a whole website exclusively dedicated to letting us know when he does, which is pretty sweet.

THAT IS ALL.